Tuesday, 1 October 2002

WTF?

The following is just too good not to be reposted. M found it in this thread on the Magic Online forums. They are discussing wether the bad-language filter installed there is good or bad.

In English, “f*ck” falls into many Grammatical categories. It can be used as
a verb both transitive (John f*cked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was f*cked
by John). It can be an adverb (Mary is f*cking interested in John), or as a
noun (Mary is a terrific f*ck). It can also be used as an interjection
(F*ck! I’m late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction
(Mary is easy, f*ck she’s also stupid). As you can see there are very few
words with the overall versatility of the word fu*k. Aside from its sexual
connotations, this word can be used to describe many situations:

1. Greetings………”How the f*ck are ya?”
2. Fraud……………”I got f*cked by the car dealer.”
3. Resignation…….”Oh, f*ck it!”
4. Trouble………….”I guess I’m f*cked now.”
5. Aggression………”F*CK YOU!”
6. Disgust…………….”F*ck me.”
7. Confusion………….” What the f*ck….?”
8. Displeasure…………”F*cking **** man…”
9. Lost……………………”where the f*ck are we?”
10. Disbelief…………..”UNF*CKINGBELIEVABLE!!”
11. Retaliation………….”Up your f*cking ass!”
12. Apathy……………..”Who really gives a f*ck?”
13. Suspicion………….”Who the f*ck are you?”
14. Directions…………..”F*ck off.”
15. Dismissal…………….”Why don’t you go outside and play
    ‘Hide-And-Go-F*ck-Yourself’?”

It can be maternal……..”MOTHERF*CKER!!”
It can be used to tell time…….” It’s four f*cking twenty!”
It can be used as an anatomical description………….”He’s a f*cking
a*shole.”
Lastly, it has been used by many notable people throughout history:

• “What the f*ck was that?” ~Mayor of Hiroshima
• “Thats not a real f*cking gun.” ~John Lennon
• “Where the f*ck is all this water coming from?” ~Captain of the Titanic
• “Who the f*ck is gonna find out?” ~RichardNixon
• “Heads are gonna f*cking roll.” ~Anne Boleyn
• “Any f*cking idiot could answer that.” ~Albert Einstein
• “It does so f*cking look like her!” ~Picasso
• “You want what on the f*cking ceiling?” ~Michaelangelo
• “F*ck a duck.” ~Walt Disney
• “Houston we have a big f*cking problem.” ~The crew of Apollo 13

- George Carlin (modified a bit)

  Posted by Edda at 18:48 CET